The determining factor for professional triumph is not the best grades or the highest IQ; it is fluency in communication. But what if you’re too shy even to start talking? 999 shows the way to market yourself like a pro
By Jamille Domingo (Based on the Webinar of Dr. Karen Remo “How to Market and Sell Like a Pro When You’re Shy”
Many amongst us have been led to believe from a young age that success is measured by achieving good grades or possessing a high IQ. In school, class toppers are often deemed most likely to succeed in life.
However, these academic achievers, more often than not, do not become standout high-fliers. Many of them may get good jobs and a stable life, but they do not necessarily succeed in a way that their name leaves a mark in their industry. In a study conducted by a Boston University professor in 1995, which followed 81 valedictorians 14 years after their graduation, the research showed that none of them went on to change the status quo in the fields where they worked.
Not even being a genius gets you a sure spot at the front row of major achievers, according to Daniel Goleman, a clinical psychologist and author of the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence. He said that while it could ensure scholastic victory, it would matter little as you go into the real world and enter the competitive professional arena.
If it’s not good grades and a high IQ, what then is the one thing that can guarantee success? Apparently, it’s the ability to communicate, according to New Perspective Media Group CEO and Managing Director, Dr. Karen Remo.
“Up to 95% of people say they have been shy at some point,” according to Dr. Remo, citing the analyses of psychologists Bernardo J. Carducci and Susan Golant in the book titled “Shyness: Understanding, Hope, and Healing.”
“Shyness is a learned behavior; no one is born with a shy gene. The good news is that whatever is learned can be unlearned. Your communication skills have a direct impact on your success. Everybody wants to be successful. Everybody wants to live a comfortable life. Since we all want that, we should all develop communication skills. The ability to communicate can bridge the gap between you and success,” she said at a webinar held on June 18, titled ‘How to Market and Sell Like a Pro When You’re Shy,’ organized by Far Eastern University Alumni Relations Office (FEU-ARO).
She noted that fear is often the only thing that stands between a person and practicing good communication skills, adding that in a study by Chapman University researchers in 2014, it was revealed that public speaking was the biggest phobia in the United States, with 25.3 percent respondents saying they were afraid to speak in front of a crowd.
Also, data released by Google Trends—which analyses the popularity of top search queries in Google Search across various countries—show that the Philippines ranks 8th among top countries that search the word “shyness” in the past twelve months. The top five include Ghana, Uganda, Fiji, Nigeria, and Nepal.
In terms of the phrase “how to be confident,” Google Trends ranks the Philippines as the 7th top country searching information about this query—while the first five include Ethiopia, Kenya, Uganda, Ghana, and South Africa. Such data prove that there is a need to overcome Shyness and boost more confidence.
So how do you attain your well-deserved success despite being shy? Dr. Remo has these tips:
MASTER THE ART OF SELLING
Dr. Remo said that all professionals must learn how to sell if they want their careers and business to see an upswing. Mastery of communication skills, superb customer service, and of course, passion are needed to achieve this.
She said that mastering communication skills starts with yourself. How you talk to yourself will determine how others will perceive you, she emphasized, a reason she underscored the importance of developing self-esteem. “The mind is a muscle, so whatever you put in there, it will absorb. Listen to positive podcasts, stay away from toxic people, and read books. Whatever you surround yourself with will influence your thoughts, your work habits, and your way of living she said.”
Another way to confidently sell is to focus on customers. According to Dr. Remo, when you are very enthusiastic about serving your customers’ needs, you forget yourself, the way you look, or even how shy you are. The actual product or service that you offer becomes your communication tool. “When you focus your energy on serving the needs of your customer, you are on your way to success. Your customer can be your boss, someone who buys from your business, your spouse, or your kids. Focus on their needs, and you can eliminate Shyness,” she said.
INCREASE REAL-LIFE PRACTICE
Dr. Remo believes that science can be an essential tool to achieve a professional feat. She said that utilizing the law of large numbers in your favor can help bridge the gap between where you are now and the goals you wish to attain.
The law of large numbers states that when you do something often enough, a ratio will begin to appear; a professional has to understand the ratio of his/her current ability. Citing the success of The Filipino Times, the largest free newspaper in the UAE published by NPM Group, Dr. Remo said that the publication had achieved 4.5 million viewership on their website simply because they release more stories, thereby increasing their chances of online readership.
GET BETTER AT ONE THING AT A TIME
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be good at everything. According to Dr. Remo, you can choose one thing you want to be successful in and focus on it repeatedly.
“If you want to learn how to talk, keep on talking. If you want to be good at singing, then keep on singing. Things can be learned. Just keep on doing it again and again,” she said.
EMBRACE REJECTION
A lot of people focus on the success ratio, which is often pegged at 20 percent. What they don’t see, however, is the 80 percent rejection. Dr. Remo said that everyone would have a share of rejection, in whatever sector and industry they choose. The secret to bouncing back from rejection is to simply embrace it.
“If you’re shy and people are not happy with the way you communicated, just carry on. Fail every time, and you will succeed,” she said.
ENVISION YOUR SUCCESS
Dr. Remo said that picturing success helps you gather the confidence you need to be a better professional. She noted that while it is true that you will never feel completely confident, you can still succeed if you know that you’re ready and good enough.
“If you guess that you’re not good, then you’re right. If you guess that you’re great, you’re right. Let your mind guess into something better, and allow yourself to believe you are great,” she said.
DO NOT RELY ON OTHERS
You are no longer a kid who needs to be continuously motivated by others. The key to bouncing back from criticism is to motivate yourself, talk to yourself, and take every feedback as an opportunity to learn, said Dr. Remo.
Click HERE to watch the full webinar session